boner
so yesterday, ilium came over to tutor my brother.
i think my mom has been sensing there’s something between ilium and i because when he came over, she said i fixed my posture. lol.
So she asks him, “what are you gonna do after college?”
and he says he’s looking into cal, which will hopefully lead to a career in a chemical engineering career which is one of the top promising field in the U.S. and is thinking about the master’s degree.
the uncertain yet fearless ambition in his voice gave me a such a big boner.
anyways, speaking of master’s degree, it would be fucking amazing if i get a degree in art history.
so i’m already looking into schools and there’s pratt and…. cal..
jesus, it would be great if i could get a phd in art history..
i could become a fucking art history professor, get fat, cheer for the baroque, gothic and neo-classism and more.
god it would be great.
AND ILIUM AND I’LL GET MARRIED, WE’LL HAVE A FUCKING HOUSE WITH A DECENT LIBRARY AND WE’LL MAKE INTERRACIAL BABIES
i’m pretty pumped.
MY NEW GOAL IS ART HISTORY PHD
things i want to draw (personifications and character focus)
Modern Reincarnation of the 12 Greek Gods
7 Deadly Sisters
The 4 Moons of Jupiter
figure drawing incorporated illustration ideas:
Old Sport and Reeding as 1800’s married couple
Leez looking at a framed picture of lalo.
Zoe as a tea and herb loving teen witch
korea me and america me
this keeps happening
i was looking at my dashboard recently and saw several “thinspo” shit.
i used to not even know what thinspo was.
so i was like “i don’t fucking remember following this kind of shit” so i go on the blog, and realize bunch of unknown art blogs that i used to follow are now thinspo/skinny ass model admiring page.
it’s pretty depressing.
i mean, it’s not like i’m one of those people who swear by “everyone is beautiful” bullshit.
everyone is not beautiful. The word “beauty” is for people who are extraordinary.
and as far as physical appearance goes, i have my preference too.
The personal preference of mine comes out when i doodle. I like drawing girls with fair skin, non-asian eyes and skinny features. but there’s a difference between obsession and preference. I value diversity in my subject more than anything. that’s why i’ve been trying to draw people who have dark skin and what not.
I like skinny girls, but also girls who has a feature of fertility. fair breasts, full butt and curvy stomach.
I’m going to be open about it. I probably won’t have fun drawing obese people or anyone who looks sick.
i respect people’s preference of body images, as long as it’s not rooted in racism or whatever. because everyone has a preference. don’t fucking lie.
what is truly ugly is hating yourself to an extent where it becomes an unproductive obsession.
hating one’s self is not bad at all. i believe that everyone needs it.
I hate myself too but that’s because i also know what i like about myself. and i don’t turn that hate into a unproductive jealousy or admiration, i turn that into a pure motivation to success.
i used to be obsessed with body image to like any girls in a modern society.
i was considered to be too dark, too fat and too tall.
even too masculine personality and culture wise.
i was surrounded by people who are opposite of me all my fucking life no matter what country i was residing in.
there is a healthy personal preference and care people should give to themselves regarding body images.
we’re humans and any aspects of us are an instrument to self expression.
god, i don’t fucking understand.
i thought thinspo shit was all middle school and early high school bullshit.
WAKE THE FUCK UP KIDS
summer activities more in depth
Routines
1. cleaning
(cleaning is not only an excellent exercise but dirty environment is really bad for your health. the dust and the mess is harmful not only to your physical health and mental health. Study also shows that people with clean rooms are more successful.)
2. sit down every morning to plan the day.
(It is really helpful to do that. It organizes your mind and it is more likely for me to follow the plan. maybe i can start with a nice cup of coffee and a cigarette! This should only take 10 to 30 minutes or so.)
List of fun activities
1. Picnic
(There’s martinoz, lafayette reservoir, oh and the reservoir has some hidden pretty places.
I think it’d be fun if old sport, reeding, ilium and i send some time in the late morning making sandwiches and cold tea. Then we could go on a picnic somewhere with a cute ass little basket and a picnic blanket or some shit, and just talk, smoke and laze around.)
2. going out to movies
(movies are just fun in general. i don’t think there’s much to write about. it’s pretty straight forward.)
3. making smoothie
(i love smoothies and old sport makes good fucking smoothies. i just want to make smoothies with old sport, drink it while talking shit about some bitches. It’s another simple, straight forward activity.)
4. watch historical documentaries.
(history of britain, russia, japan, china, communist rising, etc)
5. go to barnes and noble
(I usually go there and read shit ton of magazines. it’s free and super relaxing. i take notes and stuff too. I guess I could try other books if i have crap ton of time in my hand.)
6. take daisy on a walk
(daisy is super happy when she gets to go out. and it would be a good exercise for me.)
7. organize my clothes
(my clothes are the no.1 factor to the mess in my room)
8. clean the kitchen
(make mom happy)
9. modernized illustration of the 12 greek gods
(fun illustration idea i think.)
10. do an illustration of enheduanna
(first recorded writer and a poet in history.)
11. do nails.
(because my hands are fucked up and i have to stop biting my nails)
12. do the dishes
(make mom happy)
13. take shower
(because i often forget to do so lol)
14. get to level 50 in skyrim.
(because skyrim is a serious shit.)
15. paint for mom
(so she stops bothering me)
16. collab with old sport
(because my idea is wonderful)
17. sell off clothes
(because i hate half of my wardrobe)
18. go to eastbay depot
(because that place is kickass)
19. do mask shit
(they work. especially the egg and yogurt one.)
20. organize paper
(no.2 contribution to the mess)
i want to try these
1. baby lamb
2. people with dark skintone
3. more stylization
4. empress myeongseong
5. 7 deadly sisters
summer list
Todo’s:
1. finish mom’s painting
2. attend Berkeley city college for credits
3. Survive the orientation week
4. sell off my clothes
5. collab with old sport
Wishes:
1. start officially going out with Ilium
2. hang out with my cca friends in korea
3. smuggle lucky strike filters into America
4. have good times with people that i care about
5. Get 10 more followers on my art tumblr
rules:
1. clean everyday 2 days for 20 minutes
2. sit down every morning to plan the day.
CHEAP Activities that I’d love to do
1. Picnic
2. going out to movies (if i don’t have to pay)
3. making smoothie
4. watch olympic archery
5. go to barnes and noble
6. take daisy on a walk
7. do some random art
8. take pictures of old sport for portrait studies
9. modernized illustration of the 12 greek gods
10. do an illustration of enheduanna
11. do nails.
12. fuck around with piano
13. draw old sport and reeding in hanbok
14. get to level 50 in skyrim.
omg almost there.
i slept couple of hours last night which was more than i expected.
then i kicked ass at my history final and got my essay back with an A.
I’m not so certain but I think have an A in measured drawing. if not, probably a B.
and for life drawing, i should be getting an A.. i hope.
history is no doubt an A.
embodiment is super uncertain but it’s some where between an A and a B. one homework i couldn’t do was from this class.
and 2d… probably an A?
i’m supposed to be making my 2d portfolio right now and a digital animation.
i’m terribly exhausted.
i feel like fainting. i think i could collapse any moment.
i took a 3 hour nap though which was divine.
i also only have 1 cigarette left lol.
god i feel like throwing up.
3 days of hell’s bottom
Tonight:
10:30 - Sketches should be done
note: each frames should take an hour to color.
11:00 - 컬러링
3:00 - Finalizing the life drawing portfolio
4:00 - finish finalizing measured drawing portfolio
-
Wednesday:
4:00 ~ dinner ~7:00 = work on animation
8:00 ~ 11:00 = history final paper
12:00 ~ 2:00 = review history
Finish the animations. even if that means you have to skip sleeping.
-
Thursday:
6 hours: Finish the film at school and burn a disk.
This is my journal. I write things and reblog things.